dantat.com: I still love you Thanksgiving

I'm sure this guy is thankful for not being a turkey this holiday season.

ANYWAY....

Kiss off Christmas and wait your damn turn!

Lately, I've noticed that Thanksgiving gets no love. Look outside your window. Did someone already put up their holiday ornaments? Maybe you are that person. Is Target already having a huge 30% off sale on LEGOs? Oh man, can't miss out on that!

"Hey, the Christmas music is already playing. Huge sales are going on! I gotta get my X BOX KINECT before they all sell out everywhere! Wait! WHAT!? WHERE THE HELL IS MY TURKEY DINNER!??!"

NAY, I SAY! Stop the insanity. Slow down. Have some turkey and pie.

Oh, you forgot about Thanksgiving?!

Well, allow me to refresh your memory. It's AWESOME and you people haven't been giving it the respect it deserves!

Allow me to enlighten....

*AHEM*

Thanksgiving is not only the day we give thanks and remember when the Native Americans helped the Pilgrims through their first cold winter (for lack of planning on their big move to a new fricking country. *Geniuses*) It's also the start of Black Friday and the holiday shopping season. More importantly, it's also the time of year when everyone shuts their brains off and nothing in the working world gets done.

Now, If I recall from my old 9 to 5 work days the slowing down of society actually begins the day after Halloween. You wake up from a Halloween party, tired and hung over. You really can't get anything done because you feel like you cleaned the entire bathroom with your tongue and your head hurts from the sugar rush of a thousand Keebler elves kicking your brian stem in. Then, before you know it, it's November 5th. Now you're left with only three weeks until Thanksgiving, but you're so excited about seeing friends and family that you can't concentrate and get anything done. Now, when I say "not getting anything done" I don't mean you're just sitting around playing solitaire on your monitors, but let's be honest, you're not working at 100%. More like 78%.....

Thanksgiving happens. After that, you can't get anything done because people start taking their holiday vacations at your own company, at a company you're working for, or at the company you're working with. Sure, you get your own tasks done, but the ones that require team effort are pretty much on a standstill. No one is around! All those vacations go right through the holidays and right into the New Year which is only 6 days from Christmas. Suddenly, you find yourself in a new year.

From Thanksgiving all the way to maybe January 5th the job has been at a standstill. We have to give thanks to the inefficiencies of the world! You can't get anything done if everyone else around you is on auto pilot, right? Sit down. Relax. Have turkey....

I SAID SIT! YOUR STUPID SALES CAN WAIT!!!

Who were the idiots who decided to shove so many holidays in the last few months so that nothing gets done? I'm not complaining mind you. Who in the working world doesn't appreciate feeling like they're getting paid to do less work? (Am I the only one or is that just me and my lazy work ethic talking out loud?)

Don't fret. I still love you Thanksgiving. If holidays were people then Christmas would be that overanxious jerk who likes to steal the birthday boys thunder by standing on the table shouting "HEY LOOK AT ME AND MY NEW PANTS!". Christmas just looooves try to infringe on the Turkey Day. The day we celebrate by stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird's butt. Christmas gets enough love with holiday TV specials, and crappy movies (When was the last Thanksgiving movie you saw?) Christmas can just shut up. He'll get his turn.

But it's your special day Thanksgiving.

I still love you.